Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
