writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
