And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize