i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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