There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
