Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
