after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
