maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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