i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
