Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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