I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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