Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
