their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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