I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
