he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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