just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
