i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
