Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
