When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
