I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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