just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
