i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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