One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
