I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
