I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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