What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
