fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
