trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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