you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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