Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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