I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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