About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
