i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
