it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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