fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
