it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
