im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
ok first of all what the fuck
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
