sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
