I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
