Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
