Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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