ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
