Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
