She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
