I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
ttyl tear gas
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
