How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
