I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.