you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.