Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.