Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital