Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
