He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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