will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
