you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
