if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize