is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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