it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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