i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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