You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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