i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize