It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
