I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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