I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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