I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
